Resident Evil 3: Extinction

Caught that with Ad just now, we knew it stank real bad, so we caught it at hime, which was cheaper (1.50$ cheaper!)

There was only 1 word in my mind when I watched it. Why.

Why is this happening?
Why are they doing this?
Why do they have to do this this way?
Why am I watching this show?

Well I suppose I can answer the last question ... Since I watched 1 and 2, might as well finish it off with 3...

*Warning: Spoilers abound*

The movie starts off (well missed the first 5 mins) with the blurb about the world being taken over by the T virus and evil zombie things. And Alice is riding around alone (cos it's safer!) in some desert place (the whole world has conveniently been converted to desert land due to the (amazing) virus.

So she pulls up in front of this building where there's this radio message (She has this receiver thing that .. well receives radio messages) about Omg help us! We need help! etc

So she goes in, with her revolver and walks around and finds this fat chick with her back facing her. She approaches, with her gun covering fat chick.

Me: Why? Why not just stand where you are and ask her to ID herself? Why walk to melee range?

Fat chick: *turns to look at Alice* Won't you save my baby! *holds thing swathed in cloth*

Alice: *takes thing* *finds it's a doll*

Evil dudes appear pointing guns at her.

Me: Wth? Why?

Well Alice kills 1 dude and somehow gets knocked out (don't ask me .. she just .. was) and finds herself in this basement place with the evil dudes looking up at her from a big hole).

So bad dudes release zombie dogs (from RE:1) and they run around chasing her.

Me: Why? Why bother? If you just want to rob her, should have killed her already. Why keep dangerous dog things in your basement? They were in cages! How do you put them back afterwards? Why?? .. And why do all zombie dogs have to look like Doberman dogs? Are all zombie dogs Doberman? Or do they turn into Doberman on becoming zombie dogs? God forbid a zombie chihuahua.

Naturally she escapes and causes the ceiling to fall down so she can jump up and escape while the zombie dogs follow and pwn the bad dudes.

So she rides off and reaches some petrol station, kills off the resident zombie, and somehow discovers this book talking about going to Alaska. Interestingly the author decided to hang himself.

At the same time there's this convoy of dudes who are riding around (cos you know it's dangerous to stay in one place, cos you know zombies will somehow smell them from a mile (and many miles) away and come find them, cos you know they'll keep coming... maybe the ones in China will swim over and find them too!)

So they stop over at this motel to resupply, and send 2 dudes to go in and check out the place. Of course, they split up in the motel, you take left, I take right.

Me: Why 2 dudes? Why not more? Why not a buddy system? Why go alone?

Naturally 1 dude (naturally the black dude who's not the hero) gets jumped by zombies and gets kinda bitten on the chest. He almost got creamed if not for the hero (Carlo! I know his name!) and saves him.

So anyway place sanitised, they kinda drive their convoy (2 jeep things, 1 oil truck, 1 school bus + maybe 1 more) and bed down, somehow they manage to have an offroader around and the dude plants camera things on the ground to establish a perimeter.

The next morning, random chick (she's gotta be important cos she sleeps in the same jeep as the heroine (Clair!)) wakes up from a sound and finds that they are surrounded by zombie crows.

They try to jet it but of course the school bus gets stuck and crashes into a pole, so they have to evacuate it (actually it didn't look that badly injured..). Tonnes of zombie crows wheel about.

Alice however is around the vicinity, having heard their radio messages. (Don't forget she has telekinesis powers, watch the show!) And uses her powers(!) to burn all the crows (more details, watch the show!).

So apparently she knows Carlo (remember RE:1? Don't think anyone does). Anyways she brings this information about Alaska(!) to them and Clair tables a vote.

Alaska? Or go around as usual?

Amazingly (2 dimensionally, I might add), everyone votes for Alaska. Important note: Carlos mentions that they started with 50, and now have ~30 people.

Me: Amazing! Everyone's of 1 mind! There's NO one who's thinking, hey! I know this place, it's safe here! Rather than go to Alaska which is far (they are near LV) and it's cold and you don't know for sure if it's really untouched.
Directors of RE please watch something like ... Dawn of the dead.

Anyways somewhere in the show we're presented with the main bad guys (cos you know, zombies are not the only bad things around), and of course it's Umbrella Corp, which has a N American base in a desert place (conveniently close!). On the surface it's this compound with 1 sorry flimsy fence, and there's tonnes of zombies milling about, slapping the fence halfheartedly. Come on fellows! Show more spirit! It's not even electrified!

2 Umbrella peons wearing the Intel space suit thing come up, carrying a dead clone of Alice, they throw the body into a ditch, where there are more Alice clones(!) And they are ALL wearing the same dress (the red one from RE1).

Ad: Buy in bulk! Cheep!

Me: omfg. Why aren't they rotting? Can you imagine the psychological strain the staff will have? Surrounded by zombies, protected by a thin (not even military grade) fence. Even living underground, where the tunnels are narrow and claustrophobic. They must have good shrinks.

So anyway they decide to drop by LV to refuel so they can make the trip to Alaska.

In the meantime, evil scientist from Umbrella finds out where Alice is.

They want Alice because apparently her blood is the antidote to the T virus (and hence the clones).

So he details a squad to trap them in LV.

The convoy reaches this .. place....... there's a container blocking them. And apparently it's blocking the way to a gas station.

Ad: Where? How?

Me: Just drive past! Or find another way!

Ad: There are NO roads!

Me: What exactly is this container blocking again..?

Container was in this .. totally random position.

Alice stands at the door thing of the container and listens to it .. then she yells back! And jumps back, conveniently the door thing falls open. It just falls down, Fumph! like that, no hinges, no lock .. nadda.. Did it get pasted on using tape or what.

And zombies(!!) pour out. But it's not normal zombies! It's well formed mutated (Freddy like) zombies wearing (same!) blueish overalls.

(Sidenote: Evil Doctor (Isaacs) managed to develop this .. serum thing that makes zombies .. domesticated for like 5mins and permanently aggressive).

Nene: How did they pack like 100 zombies inside!?

So anyway pew pew! People die, zombies get smashed, more nameless people die. Isaacs tries to shut Alice down but she fries(!) (remotely!) the satellite chip trying to shut her down.

So she somehow knows where the tent is and goes up to it and kills all the guards there (! where's the bullet proof vests.. you mean those armour stuff are ornamental?)

Almost kills Isaac but he gets away, not before getting bitten by a zombie.

She doesn't shoot down the helicopter, saying that it'll be good if they can hijack it to Alaska, rather than driving.

So somehow they manage to track the helicopter back to the base. I suppose.. with the clear skies and wide field of vision ... And find the base, you know, the one with the flimsy gate surrounded by (more!) zombies milling around, pawing halfheartedly at the fence.

Carlos decides to sacrifice himself, as he got bitten during the fight. The plan was to drive the oil tanker towards the base, blow up stuff, so they can follow behind and grab the helo.

Me: .. Does ANYONE see the tonnes of things that can go wrong with this plan? 1, zombies overrun them before it happens, 2, fence is tougher than it is (hey it better be adamantite, with all the zombies pressing against it), 3, is the helo fueled!? They just landed the thing! How are you sure it has enough fuel for Alaska?! As established earlier, the convoy had 30ish people left, well .. are you telling me that the LV ambush killed like 20?? Cos that helo definitely CANNOT carry > 10 people ... Actually 10 is kinda stretching it. I'd say like 6 .. maybe .. 8.. Also who can fly a helo! (Well it turns out that Claire conveniently can fly a helo. How? Why? She's military? Even so .. not every military dude knows how to fly a helo..)

Well apparently everyone likes living dangerously so they enact the plan.

Carlos drives his oil tanker into the zombies and somehow it gets thrown to the side.

Me: How? Why? It's heavy... the ground's flat... it's in motion, the zombies aren't at one side pushing ... Well it COULD have ran over too many zombies and fell on its side..... but ... urgh. So he lights his dynamite (!! How did they have dynamite!?) and blows a hole.

Claire, Alice and nameless people floor it (in 1(!!) jeep) and go through the explosion and race to the helo. They all get in, save for Alice of course, who has unfinished business with Isaacs.

Me: So everyone save for like .. 1jeep worth of people survived LV.

In the meantime, underground, Isaacs has pumped himself full of antidote things and somehow mutates into a thing somewhat like Nemesis (a crappier version). So he pwns everyone in the complex. Well of course we don't see it.. just see blood and dead bodies .. and of course, the flickering lights.

So the helo takes off (I don't know how helos work, but apparently someone left the key in the ignition, so to speak) and Alice goes into the wooden house in the centre of the compound.

Meanwhile, the zombies are politely standing around outside the gate, apparently not noticing the big hole.

She goes into the house and reaches the table, which conveniently opens up and this elevator comes up. How nice.

So she goes down and sees the flickering lights, goes through some lab thing and meets the computer, which is represented by a holographic girl, ala RE1.

Computer tells Alice that her blood is the antidote, and the doctor has been mutated. She cannot contain him so Alice must go pwn him.

So Alice goes to this area where the computer says he is.

Me: What..? Did the computer draw some blood from her? What if Alice dies? Then no more antidote?

So anyway she walks around, sees dead people, nicely skewered (Isaacs has been pretty free I guess) and sees a clone of herself in this bubble thing.

Ad: Why do all the clones have their hands crossed over their

Me: flat

Ad: chests? Is that a natural position? *crosses arms*

Me: *crosses arms*

So anywhere Isaacs comes and she chucks her machete at him, and he flees (what a wuss). Bubble thing is broken and clone slides out, arms over chest.

Clone: *gasps* *lies still*

Alice: *covers clone in jacket*

Isaacs in the meantime has run into a corridor and we see him throwing the machete to the ground, and the wound healing itself. Healing factor!

Alice comes by and chases after him..

They fight, she swipes at him and he grabs her arm and tosses her away

Me: Why..? Tossing would just give her mobility... since you have her.. just break the arm or something

Ad: Maybe he wants her whole

Me: For what? better to squish?

He uses his 1 tentacled arm and grabs her, she cuts them off with machete, she uses her Force(!) powers and flings him away, he crashes through some (thin) walls, he comes back and roars and things + her fly through some (thin walls), helpfully, into the computer's room.

Remember RE1? There was this room where the guards were sliced by the lasers which were moving in patterns.

He slaps her around a bit more and she lies on the ground.

Isaac: I used to think you were the future, but I was wrong.. I am the future!! RAWR! *advance*

Alice: *starts laughing*

Isaac: *pause and looks quizzically*

Me: So ..... I learnt today... If facing certain death before evil villain, always remember to laugh. This will confuse the bad guy so you can have those spare seconds to 1, kill yourself, 2, bring up some secret weapon, 3, wait for help.

Alice: You're just another asshole.

Me: Witty comeback! You go girl!

Alice: We're dying here together!

Lasers appear in their criss cut patter and slices through Isaac. They stop a hair from Alice, and we cut back to the clone, who apparently has learnt to breath in air and has stopped the lasers.

Me: How?! How do you know that? Anyways the computer could have done it... You know, it'd be funny if Isaacs repaired that injury and became many Isaacs...

So we cut to Japan where you see business suited Japanese zombies on the streets (of course, everyone in Japan wears a suit!) and down below where the execs are having a meeting.

Lost contact with N America base... blah blah ....

Alice: *zaps in holographically* I'm coming for you! And I'm bringing my friends! *end transmission*

*cut to Alice standing beside Alice 2*

*camera pans to what they are looking at*

Many many many bubbles with Alice inside. All with arms helpfully crossed over (flat) chests.

End movie.


=_=

Omfg it's so bad on so many counts I don't know what to say. Well save for a Why!?

Why are they doing this?! Why did they do this? How come no one offered a counterproposal? Why's everything so fine and dandy?

What was the pointless first scene for? To show us those zombie dogs? Why? Where did all the OTHER people in the convoy go?! How can that helo make it to Alaska from ~~ LV? They didn't pack food! How?! Why!? What!? Why do all the zombies look so uniform now? The ones which are modified even have uniforms (blue overalls).

Umbrella Corp! We take care of you! Even if you're a zombie!

Also, it's cool and stuff, but it doesn't make economic sense to build deep underground facilities.. 1 maybe, but all your bases...? What's the psychological state of the peons in Umbrella? Can you continue with your work knowing what's going around in the world? What about your family? Parents? Kids? Relatives?

What's all those Alice clones for? Is making them survive fighting against zombies prove that they have the 'correct' blood? Also all the main characters have immaculately drawn eyebrows, nicely washed hair, neat clothes. It certainly is heartening to see people having the time to groom themselves even at the edge of apocalypse.

Sigh.

What makes a good zombie flick? To me there are two kinds. One is the ulta action packed fast and furious type, zombies flying everywhere, people dying every second, and there's the more cerebral one, where zombies are slow, seemingly easy to escape from.

1st is the action .. action's good!

2nd is the plot, about how humans react to danger, in hopeless situations. You see all kinds. In the original Dawn of the Dead, the 2 security guards are 'lords' of the shopping mall. They knew they were in charge and controlled stuff. When the people were deciding to go, there were people who argued not to.. why leave the safe haven and venture outside where it was unknown? And this dude trying to hide his pregnant zombie wife cos he loved them.. The human spirit!

Sadly, for RE:3, both points weren't there. Hardly any action, well not enough at least, and not entertaining at the very least. Plot? lolz.

I've always wondered about a zombie ecostructure, been of the mind that it cannot be stable. How and when do zombies multiply?

1, they eat their prey. 2, their prey become zombies too.

How and when will a human become a zombie? When it's bitten, but not eaten? When will a zombie stop eating a human? After eating the choice bits?

Don't seem to see any zombies with bits missing from them...

In Dawn of the Dead, the zombies stopped eating once the victim rose.

...

What was memorable about RE:1 was the zombies... They looked MORE like zombies rather than these.. these look like extras in latex makeup. No broken necks.. broken arms.. armless zombies.. etc.

I still remember the scraping sound this zombie made in RE:1. It had a broken neck, and was walking on a broken ankle, and was dragging a hatchet. THAT'S a zombie.

And of course RE:1 had a clearer aim, the troops were to shut down that computer. In RE:3.. what's the aim? I know.. it's to survive... hide from zombies.. live.. but ........ it just wasn't really there.

Read Z War.

Cat thing!

It's a cat thing!

[11:32 ] did u peer at myroom closely?
[11:32 ]
[11:33 ] notice wats on the carpet?
[11:33 ] <暗闇の天使> i saw zombies
[11:33 ] <暗闇の天使> a cat thing
[11:33 ] 2 zombies non?
[11:33 ] <暗闇の天使> uhuh ..
[11:33 ] there's SOMETHING at the edge of the carpet
[11:33 ] hehehehhe
[11:33 ] <暗闇の天使> a cat thing?
[11:33 ] nope
[11:33 ] <暗闇の天使> car?
[11:34 ] .. and?
[11:34 ] <暗闇の天使> a mummy..?
[11:34 ] =_=
[11:34 ] j00 cant see wats next to car!?
[11:35 ] <暗闇の天使> cat thing/
[11:35 ] HAMSTER.
[11:35 ] <暗闇の天使> i said it was a cat thing! many times!
[11:35 ] its not a cat la!
[11:35 ] bah!
[11:35 ] <暗闇の天使> it's a cat thing!
[11:36 ] ...
[11:36 ] <暗闇の天使> it's small! it's a cat thing
[11:37 ] hamster la!
[11:37 ] <暗闇の天使> well .. i didn't say it was a cat..
it's a cat thing!

Urgh

It's been a while... That time went cable skiing remember? ..Well somehow I injured my arms.. the nerves I think, and it's been hurting... still ><><

Urgh

Also.. urgh about the other thing... it's still going! .. >< Dun really know what to do about it.. Must remember to eat more froots... always forget... will try and remember to buy a watermelon everyday (a cup!)

She's gone out! But as usual never bring phone. How the heck do I know when she'll be back!? Got phone still no bring... GRRR!

Long awaited

Maybe only by me :-P, been meaning to post for a long time but was too lazy to do it. So figured I should do it when I'm out of reach of a computer. So do it on Snooks... Somehow his t9 got reset ... Weird. Anyways...

Well, the last post had me rather sad ne? Well at the very nadir, when even EOV (Eternally Optimistic Voice) failed... Twas a truly sad time. Usually eov manages to work... I managed to summon my dearest DA, and ...well it works out easier in the head than in words... But the sad feelings and such just poofed. Dunno what to say about it... One moment, was in the train feeling really bad, next moment it was gone... Even tried experimenting with some known sad thoughts but either they got clamped down or... Just nothing... No feeling. Was really odd. But guess I owe DA one for that...

Much appreciated. Would be in a really bad spot without his help.

Shortly after that, eov kicked in -_-

Sigh skipping yoga today... Shoulder joints pain. The dude said my joints are loose... What does that mean? Urgh doesn't sound good... Hopefully will feel better soon. Will try swimming tomorrow if still bad then guess no go cable skiing... Sigh.

Been looking at new Snooks too... So far nokia 61i seems good... Would prefer se's p1i but it doesn't have wireless g... The upcoming black berry curve seems good too, but oddly there's no 3g... Doh. Iphone at the moment is out too... No mp3 for ringtone, can't mod ... What's the point of buying such a powerful device but can't do anything with it?

Some commentor was still saying... Apple is like an over protective mother while we consumers are naughty children (paraphrased from memory) ... Duh... An over protective mother? Dude you have issues. If you don't have $ you think Apple will care a whit for you? Sigh all these fanboys.

Well reaching home liao. Hope this post gets to where it's supposed to go :-P

@Home: Had some problems posting this, guess maybe text too long and somehow overloaded something, just couldn't reacquire the network.. Was in dismay (no way am I going to type this whole chunk out again! It doesn't look long .. but it's still substantial!), but thankfully the email portion in Snooks' firmware could handle long text, so saved it, rebooted and loaded up Opera again and managed to save it into drafts before using Resurrection to edit.

Opera's a kick ass browser, only problem is it seems to be identifying as a non mobile browser, so it loads up the whole page .. but then they load up fast! Super streamlined! :D