Thursday, March 19, 2009

Changing ideas

Yes, it's been a while since I last penned here. There are several reasons ... too lazy, the tools are not available when I want to do it, it's all on FB already ...

But well, I guess I better put something here too :P So my loyal readers can read.

Things have pretty much changed since the ideas of last time. I remember last time, it was pretty much absolutes. The future partner must be a virgin! He must be this! That! Etc.

But reading SG Brides changed my mindset. It doesn't really matter whether he did It or not, it's still the same person regardless. I remember I was quite shocked actually, that many people are getting it on without getting married. (Yes I guess I'm a prude >_>)

Looking back too, while in Converscient, I was pretty satisfied (to use the term loosely). A job, doesn't pay much, but it was okay, not many big complaints, go back everyday play wow. That's fine really. Some time sooner or later I'll earn enough to afford a car.

Well that was the idea then. Things changed after going to muvee. I think it was due to a number of reasons - older (and hence more mature? lol), meet different people (the people I mixed with in Converscient were chiefly my peers in age).

The different people I met taught me different things, and somehow awoken the hunger. The wtf am I still doing here? Why am I not getting HIS pay? Why do I have to save money to afford this? Why can't I expand my income so that I can afford this?

I met SG and YJ the other day. I guess you can put us in the 'losers' category. (Yes, I'm not burning with self righteousness by saying I'm not in the grp). Amongst us we have people who have never dated, people who only had 1 partner and refused to try again, people who aren't excelling in their careers, people who are sitting on their bums waiting for stuff to happen, people who just accept everything that comes their way, people who don't fight.

It's kind of sobering, thinking about this. The only time is now. Do you want to live an average life? Look back upon it at your deathbed and realise that you didn't do anything at all. That you were a person of no consequence? That in a blink of an eye (on a cosmic scale), you were nothing. Friends say a few things about you at your funeral, and that's it. Life goes on. Nothing happened.

This is probably putting it a little too harshly. Unless you're a true hermit, most of us touch people everyday.

Well, at least I'm glad I realised this, and also realise the need to climb out of this cesspit. I don't know what to do about the people I know who are still like this. Do they know? Do they know and just ignore this? Do they know, and do nothing about it? Do they defeat themselves by telling themselves that they don't amount to anything?

Are they really comfortable with the idea that they are alone? Do they not think of whether they should find someone? Or just sit and wait? Jiang Ziya diao yu?

For some people, things happen easily for them. For others, they have to fight for it if they want to have it. Just because you don't have it now doesn't mean you're not destined to have it.

I came across this little gem when I was reading my (now) favourite site: www.cracked.com

One of the most common reasons we procrastinate is fear that the end result won't live up to the "perfect" idea in our heads. Think about the writer friend of yours who has never actually written anything, because they're "waiting for the right idea" for a book to come along.

This is why people wind up living in their parents' basement--waiting for the perfect job, the perfect girl, the perfect friendship--before committing to anything.

And here's what one of my friends had to say about it:

You don't figure out the right way to do something without making mistakes. And nobody's perfect.

It's almost better knowing how something sucks and making due rather than for waiting forever for it to be perfect.

Why are some people I know so afraid of failure? I'm afraid of it too, I know. I'm working to remove that. It's okay to fail. It's better to have tried, and failed, than not to have tried at all. Rather than sit staring at the closed door wondering what's on the other side, or fearing about what's on the other side, just wtf open it! Open it and deal with what comes out from the other side. It could be good, it could be bad. Whatever it is, it will make you stronger. You will learn from the experience (Well of course you can choose not too...)

Alongside with the realisation (that I hang out with losers), is that I have to make other kinds of friends. Friends who have the same kind of mindset. I only know four so far. Need to find more.

This doesn't mean I'm not a loser, nor am I saying I'll ignore nor think any less of the 'loser' friends that I have, but, birds of a feather flock together. Friends influence your way of thinking, what you do, and can give good advice.

Sigh. I dunno. I wanted to send all this and then some to my friends, but... well really. Is there a point to it? If you hold yourself so small, should I bother to hold yourself for your true worth? If you can't even see the beauty in yourself, should I even bother to tell you how beautiful you are? Should I bother to drag a boulder up a mountain? A boulder that doesn't even want to go up in the first place?

Doesn't seem like it's logical hor. But it's quite sad to see people wasting their time like this...

Not like I'm not wasting my time ;) I do do that sometimes... :P

I found this blog while stumbling, http://www.positivityblog.com/index.php/2007/03/21/why-some-people-almost-always-are-successful/ it seems pretty good. Nice posts. Check it out.