Friday, January 26, 2007

It's official

I take 10 mins to get from my work place to cathay. Was thinking of
taking a bus but am glad that i decided to walk instead. Typing this
on snooks whilst i wait.
Saw my earlier post for a sec before i left. Lol such a long ass one.
It may sound extreme, but i didnt temper my words, nor did i write
everything which should have been said. Tend to forget stuff. Heh.
Where do i wander off to now, holding in my arms all i've lost and
loved. Dunno why it strikes a chord in me. Damn reach word limit liao.
Bah

Where do I wander off to now

May be a little late to be posting this, since it's already nearing the end of January, but mm it's been simmering in my mind for a long time, so better late than never?

~Reflection~

All in all it has been an interesting year, lost and gained, lost and loved, more wanderings and ponderings.

I suppose after half a year in muvee, I think I can say that it's a good decision muving on. Why? Met more "grown" up people, my old place had 2 categories, the Boss Units (BU) and Peon Units (PU), and all the PUs were of my level, around my age, similar experiences. The BUs were nice but they were hardly around, and we only talked much on official capacities. Hardly would I think of meeting them after office hours for muvee outings or dinner etc etc.

Pretty mysterious given that they are all around my age.

Then there's processes, the processes here are better.

And then there's BUs, my BU is a nice guy. Need anything? Go buy and let me sign. Need off? No need to give leave form first, you sms me and poof first, come back then let me sign. He's a good guy ^^;

TL R is also not too bad, introduced drinks! and other funky stuff. Pool buddy too heh.

Also at least bonus is not too bad <_<

And now they changed 13th mth to contractual means every year will def get 13mth bonus! Woot.

Of course, not to say the old place is bad, if I had stayed, would have had more power and influence. heh ^^

Also, coming here has given me a new perspective on things. It's been a little difficult to reconcile them with the present configuration though, still need to mull through alot of stuff.... Damn I thought of alot to write during my lunch @ Macs earlier but now dunno how to start, heh.

Gah after toilet break and other misc stuff, lagi worse, dunno how to start. hmmz

Hmm Lets start off like this. I'm challenging myself on the preconceived notions of right and wrong. Things one should do, and things one shouldn't do. (eww sounds tacky). I have a friend who started dating a french dude. Her parents went ballistic. Can't you get an SG dude?! He's FRENCH! He's bad! He'll definitely want to have sex with you and blah. Things were bad and in the end she struck out on her own, living in another uncle's spare flat. (great to have relatives sometimes).

Had a talk with her sometime back and what she said was she learnt something new (well SBU (super BU) 1 told her.

If they can't handle the truth, don't tell them the truth.

And, one answers only to oneself. Naturally it's not saying you do whatever you want, but do it within limits. Like if you feel it should be done, it's what you really want, go ahead and do it. Life experiences are for yourself to learn. If you've done everything in your power to let the people who are worried for you to be at ease, and they still try to make things difficult for you, that's too bad. You can't be responsible for what they feel even after you lay your cards on the table. What's important is what you feel.

Hmm seems odd to be written out like that. Not the best structuring.

Like the friend with that guy. Her parents go He's bad and such, but they haven't even met him. They just assumed he was bad. She however, wants to experience it for herself (he seems pretty good, working in accenture and stuff). I have trust in her that she won't pick up some bad egg. If it fails, she will at least walk away of having the lost and loved experience (lolz so tacky).

Aiyah dunno how to say it lah. But you know what I mean. If you don't then ..

I came to this theory earlier at lunch. For those who are getting squashed by their elders. NO! Can't do this! It's BAD! Cos I KNOW! Is it really true? Have they experienced the same exact situation with the same conditions? Guess it's easier to put it this way.

It's like hiring an applications programmer to program a game. Sure, a game IS an application on the surface, but deep down the model is pretty different. Most applications are event driven, they don't need to extremely performance oriented ie you don't need to squeeze out every single ounce of processing power. A variable which ranges from 1 - 128 you declare as an integer in an application is fine, but it will have to be declared as a byte in a game. The application programmer can provide insights and maybe some experience to the budding programmer, but the best person to solve the problems would be the budding programmer himself, for he'll learn from his mistakes. Besides, he's the one in the hot seat.

Damn I sound fragmented.

Like for example, buying a car. She(tm) says no don't buy car, blah blah. Buy one with your hubby blah blah. But seriously, the choice is mine and my own. Wouldn't it be good to learn about how to maintain a car? The responsibilities of loans and money handling? The different activities you'd do with a car? Naturally I wouldn't be buying a car now, simply doing a survey and some future planning. So overreactions like that are silly. I KNOW it'll be a burden on finances, it's a slow bleed now, with a car it'd be a hemorrhage. So definitely I'll be smart enough to decide whether I want to take on the responsibility of getting one.

Tsk.

I was questioned on the issue of leaving (vague alert!) the unit. What I felt about it if X left. At that time (and now) my response was if X thinks it's right, thinks leaving will give X more opportunities, a better life, sure. For I cannot provide the same level of care X would get if X left, nor can I guarantee it. However I was informed that this was not the "correct" answer. (well at least that's what I inferred), and the proper answer was NO! But I cannot say NO fairly. As mentioned earlier, if I cannot guarantee it, who am I to stop you from taking steps to achieve what YOU want, to make YOU happy?

Well now apparently, the one who provided the correct answer has some experience now and is apparently singing a different tune. Oh well, don't care. I still stand by what I think.

Then there's another issue, about how good a guy is when he has "plans". We'll date for X years, if ok after that then get married. Is that how it should be? It sounds so bloody mechanical. Yet it was lauded. I'm still of two minds about it. Naturally it's good to have that eventual goal in mind, but ... to state it out so flatly? Hmm

I was spying peering at this chick's blog a few days ago, her bf proposed to her. Aww so sweet. He had his friends over to help sing song/say stuff/can't remember though. If I were the gf I'd have been -_-. Why did you have to involve friends? Are you afraid I'd say no? Then looked at the pictures of the flat and everything

Is that all it is? Maybe not ready to settle down, but somehow feel that's not the life for me. It feels so .. typical. Of course, I'm unique, just like everyone else, but I've always been atypical, I've done my fair share of odd things, gone the odd path, will probably keep doing it though. Heh.

I thought about what L said when he saw the utube vid about that guy. When the hosts asked him why he wanted to get married, the reasons were "I'm not getting any younger... she's a nice girl.." L was saying Why isn't the answer "Because I love her .. etc etc" (paiseh can't remember word for word). Maybe he's shy .. but hmmm

Reading sgbrides forum has given some perspective too, there are those who marry for the sake of marrying. Why in the past me and my gf were talking about stuff like this too .. Hopefully the guy can make $$, look ok, treat me super good, then ok liao. But is this it? Would a guy with lesser $, tiao jian do? Someone you care about deeply? Hmm

What's really important at the end of the day? To say, I've lived in a condo! I've 3 mercs, 2 bmws? Thought of this resume hogy and I found on the backpacker's lodge comp @ KL some time back. That dude is a certified backpacker, he travels around the world, applying for short stint jobs to tide him through for his next hop.

At the end, he might be a poor churchmouse but he'd have travelled widely. Sure, you with the condo and stuff would probably have done the same, but your vision of would probably be that of resorts, golfing clubs while his would be closer, more to the grass roots. In the end, which is what you want?

Huh apologies for sounding fragmented, multitasking as I type heh. Didn't come out exactly the way I want it though.

I've also been faulted for the choice of career. Hey, if you listened to me like that chick in some random neighbour's house who listened to her sis and did accounting, you'd be indispensable and earning lots of money. It's like hallo? Am I interested in accounting? Who the hell cares if YOU have been an accountant before. Yes, they are important, yes some of them earn lots of money, but that's THEM. I'm ME. And .. why not you be a teacher! Like your sis, stable .. blah blah. See above answer *roll eyes* Gah Makes me angry. What a fking idiot.

Guess the final message for the day is this: Let me (general term) choose to do what I want. Provide the red flags when necessary but experience cannot be taught, it must be earned. And, I cannot be responsible for how you feel. If I've fulfilled my responsibility of furnishing as many details as possible and you still cannot accept it, do not hold me responsible for what you feel. I cannot control what you feel.

Wednesday, January 24, 2007

Ponder

Been a long time since I updated <_< heh. Have been busy about stuff @ work and @ wow. The race is on to hit 70 and I'm half way there .. should hit 70 in a few weeks time, then it's back to gear farming, rep grinding.. etc.. But I also have to level Sef up to 70 too, been having withdrawal syndromes about him.

Still feeling abit meh these few days, been thinking about some stuff. An analogy I've gotten from my readings around is this ..
From sgbrides: Hubby wants IT everyday, wife says no! So after some time hubby turns to pr0n and mayhaps chat up chicks on the net.

...

Hmm.. odd analogy, but the basic basic basic thing is in it. Nothing to do about ITs! It's more of asking until become 8-) then /form new party. Yeah I suppose that's it. Of course I tried the putting myself in others shoes thing, but there's no ways about it. It's just ... meh. Not something I'd say.

Kinda same (well samish different) with a recent party we had at the office, the nub organiser (who incidentally came from the same sec school as me) organised a treasure hunt for the "in crowd" of muvoids. Well, I believe the ones involved definitely had fun, but there wasn't anything for the "!in" crowd to do. Which is kinda a failure imo. I've always had the "leave no one behind" mentality, so it didn't quite jell well.

But come to think of it .. do ppl know? Do they appreciate? Leave no one behind .. but does the person care in the first place? Probably not worth the effort, cos when you think of things that way, you'd like people to think of you in that way too, but that's not a fair burden to place on people. It's back to the expectations part. So well, screw it. You do your thing. I'll join party if it benefits me.

So it's kinda a quandary.. On one hand, you want to treat ppl fairly, but once you do it, you expect to be treated the same way, even though it's not a fair onus to place on others (I think ..). So best is just adopt the same protocol as others adopt towards you I guess

Hmmmmmmmm

Pretty vague post .. but I get like that sometimes ^^;

Friday, January 19, 2007

It's HERE!

Yeah! TBC is finally out .. popped by on 16th to Suntec to pick it up .. Was envisioning long queues, many people, hawt events, was wondering hey! will there be some cute guy standing beside me in the queue waiting to get BC? Haha

So .. when I finally got there and took the escalator down, I peered down and saw ... no queue. Peered at the people milling about ... There was nothing 'grand' about it, just 1 stage with a board saying "ONYXIA CHALLENGE!" -_-; So I popped by, collected my BC, walked around abit .. "ONYXIA CHALLENGE" is apparently some corrupted memory - bingo game where you cover your little card wtih 16 spells/abilities with stickers, and when Glenn Ong (who probably doesn't know what Onyxia is) announces the spell/ability (ie GO: CORRUPTION!), you're supposed to scratch out that square .. first one who gets 5 correct is supposed to scream "ONYXIA DOWN!" and get a prize .. doh.

I went home.

Installed BC, had dinner, bathed, blah, and logged in .. wasn't much of a trouble.. heh. Although the last 2 days I played, the server had to be restarted for some issues .. I wonder how Bliz tech support goes.. DAMNIT! We have a problem! .. Soln? Restart server! Keep restarting till it works!

Sidenote, been abit wishy washy and hmm weirdly wired these few days.. Dunno what's come over me. <_< Weird. And no .. it's not The Kurse ..

Saturday, January 13, 2007

Well .. I did it

Yep, after all the procrastination, the mulling over ... finally took the plunge so to speak and did it.

Was a little unsure afterwards .. after all, this is the first concrete step taken, and boy does it feel weird. Lotsa scenarios crop up, things that may or may not happen ... All the little itty voices saying "Zomg it's WRONG!"

But there's one tiny voice that says .. go go! <_< It'll be fine! Kitto ok!

1 sole flame in the teeming darkness.

Well, we'll see what happens. There is always fear of the unknown.

In other news ......

Realised that I can't write anymore .. or rather, no more stamina <_<. Was filling out some equipment loan forms yesterday for R and The Hand™ felt a bit tired and the pen felt foreign ... Gah, what happened to stamina!? What happened to The Hand™ which could write reams and reams for compositions?! Wth! ;_;

In other other news ....

Finally got my first(!) credit card ever. The DBS Mastercard doesn't count! It's a debit! It's a Capitaland card by DBS, got it cos felt that since work so near bugs junc and go there quite often, will be able to get some discounts ... Anyways now already forgot the offers, need to go read em up again.

In other other news....

Where's my precious!? My dearest 天使.. ;_; We've drifted so far .. I wonder why ... Don't leave me here like that <_< Don't withdraw from my life like that T_T

Monday, January 08, 2007

Heroes

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Lovetoy!

You tease me,
oh please me,
i want you to be my lovetoy,
come near me, don't fear me,
i just can't get enough of you boy.

It's a Neu Ear!

Haven't posted for a while, was blog surfing my fellow denizen's blogs before I felt the pang of bloghood. Well, time to make an entry!

Have been busy last week with the Ad-venture. Rented a TT for 2 days to refamiliarise myself with running down civilians driving. It wasn't too bad ..

Car 2 days: 110$
Fuel: 40$
Cashcardo: 17$
Fine!?: 20$

Yeah coupon fine :S Forgot about the overnight parking thing starting at 1030 so I didn't put enough coupons to cover that one. Appealing though, see how it goes. Heh, but all in all it wasn't that expensive for the Ad-venture.

Initially, I thought I wouldn't know how to go anywhere, but managed to drive around a couple of places.

Upon collecting the TT on Wed, drove down the TPE with Bvo. Car handles okay, but sadly doesn't have enough power. Definitely not one of my NFS cars. It also had the tendency to veer to the left -_-;

After reaching Yishunish, we thought it would be time to U turn and get to NTU to pick up GPB for lunch, after getting lost being momentarily misplaced for a bit, we managed to trundle to NTU to meet GPB. Sadly, although Bvo spent quite a number of years stuck in NTU, she seems to be a wee bit .. unnavigationist about the place. I blame the pasta.

Had lunch at Jurong Point after picking up GPB (not supposed to ferry pets, but there you go) and walked around for a bit. Sigh really miss the old days of bumming around being a uni student. Can sit around at odd hours in odd places (well not odd but odd for that time) and talk/bum around. After that, drove GPB back to NTU and drove Bvo back to her kampong then set off for Bukit Merah.

Why the roundabout way? Could have gone straight from NTU to Bukit Merah then Bvo's Kampong.

Answer? Cos Bvo is shy 8-) Can't even store her somewhere while I go ex coy @ Bukit Merah to say hi to the expeons there. So had to travel all the way back to the East, and travel back to the Central. Psst!

Showed them shwup and they were rather impressed but it, but think have to do abit more marketing to get them to spread it round, heh. Had some technical problems running it initially, first was non updated drivers for the embedded Intel graphics drivers (PC), and next was the Mac Mini's user wasn't admin. Yeah yeah, writing to root is horrible, going to have to fix that soon.

Left around 6 to pick up R from the office. Got abit lost momentarily misplaced for a moment when I missed the turn to AYE. It was a bloody long queue anyways. Instead I headed on straight, and trusting in the Force, found myself beside SGH and going towards Funan via Chinatown. Back in familiar territory, I had no problems navigating to Bugs and scooped up R (who was playing pool when I got there -_-) and drove back.

However, on the way back we decided to make a detour to East Coast Park for abit, R said he knew of a nice spot, and despite the rain, I made the turn and we went there. Sadly it was raining pretty heavily when we reached so we could only sit in the car for abit while waiting. It's the far sorta end of ECP, off a narrow road, near the beach. I stopped behind this Nissan March looking vehicle and both of us started munching on the titbits R bought when we made a short stopover.

In the car, R told me he saw a couple stop at his terrace house last time in the wee hours to engage in .. activities. He chased them off with his room light, but they travelled a few houses down and reengaged. He then took out his bike, cycled sloooooowwwly towards the car and stopped at the driver's side until the girl noticed and looked up (from her erm .. ministrations to the guy). Then he cycled off nonchalantly. Tee hee.

So finally the rain stopped and we hopped out and went to the beach and stood at the breakwater. Nice place, *scribbles notes* more places to bring someone too! ^^;

When we headed back to the car, I noticed the car in front of mine had moving people inside it (well I knew there were people inside already). Walking nearer to it, we could see that it was a couple in the hot grip of passion. Apparently the chick was sitting on the guy (driver)'s lap and they were kissing. Naturally I paused for a bit while passing by them to ogle observe scientifically.

People these days! Tsk tsk!

Sent R home and went back for munchies. Nice parking if I may say so myself.

On Thurs, woke up early and drove to R's place to pick him up. He so buay paiseh, wed night msg me: So when are you picking me up? Doh!

Anyways, drove him to the office, waited for him to 'check in' and headed to Funan for breakfast.

Immortal Dialogue while reversing into parking lot:

Me: Still rusty at parking ah me.
Me: *peering into mirrors and reversing* I have a hard time being straight
R: *gag*
Me: Ack!

.. -_-

Doh! <_<; Naturally I meant I had a hard time straightening the car when parking (A).

After having breakfast, shipped R back to the office and called up GPB but he was busy >:E Tried calling H but he had some nubby meeting at RP so couldn't go there for lunch, so decided to go back up to TPE and explore abit, but while driving up, saw the exit for Changi Village and decided to head there instead.

Spent nearly an hour at Changi Beach. Walked up and down it. No one for kilometres! Well kinda. Unfortunately the beach was quite dirty <_< Quite an interesting place though. Called up R and arranged to meet him for lunch. Drove back down to office (lolz) and picked him up.

Me: So go where?
R: Go orchard loh
Me: Okay ah, how to go you know right?
R: Ya ya go lah.

*Drive*
*at orchard boulevard*
Me: Oei where are we going huh?
R: eat pasta la
Me: Okay lah, where huh.
R: Orchard Hotel there, you turn there ...

..
R: Maybe we should go Great World.
Me: Huh? GW? .. ..

*reach GW*
R: Maybe we should have gone to xxxxx
Me: -_-

Anyways, after lunch, shopped around abit before shipping R back to office (doh). Left .67$ in my cashcard. Heh, good thing the orchard cbd wasn't up, otherwise $$ liao. Cashcards should be allowed to go into -ve man, after all, we have that 2$ deposit! >:E

Both R and I agreed (and most likely other people too) that cashcards are an abomination. There's hardly any real usage for them. All its uses are all artificial. We could have used our contactless ezlink cards to pay fines, go cbd areas etc. Still have to mess with this nubby cashcard thing which is totally useless.

Anyways, afterwards drove back home and parked and took a nap. Went back to the office ( DOH!) cos the CEO was buying drinks @ Brewerks and definitely cannot miss that! Got yet another place to bring someone to liao.

All in all this Ad-venture wasn't too bad, not that expensive and it proves a point. Hehe. Maybe do it biannually or as a on need basis. But got car is sibei shiok ;_; Wtb car! <_<;

So anyways it's back to work again .. no PH until Feb CNY.. Sigh!

Finally sent The Email. Waiting for response.....

Tuesday, January 02, 2007

Attention shoppers!

A(n) Jelly Stor.

Pencils. That is all.

Monday, January 01, 2007

Pelmont City .. or the City of Eternal Night

Finished NFS: Carbon today (well not everything is unlocked, but career is done!).

The final mission took many tries, and I still have a sore thumb from hammering on the accelerator. To defeat a boss, you have to run a canyon race with him. A canyon race is made of 2 parts, the 1st part has you behind the boss, and you'll have to keep within 100 metres of the boss as the both of you twist around the canyon. If you get too far away for > 10 seconds, you'll lose. If you manage to overtake for more than 10 seconds, you win. The closer you stick to the boss's car from start to the completion of the race, you'll get more points. Hmm odd sentence, but then again I'm partially distracted .. watching Family Guy =p

Anyway, in the 3rd case, once the first run finishes, the same race will take place, but with you this time in the lead, and the boss's car following you. If he gets more points than you did on the earlier run, you lose.

Naturally if you fall off the canyon you lose.

Anyways I did that for more than half an hour. Finally managed to defeat the boss. Phew.

Carbon is one of the best NFS games I've played so far. Much better than UG 1 and 2, heh. UG 2 sucked actually. So far my favourite NFS games are Porsche Unleashed and maybe NFS 2, heh. However one of my favourite racing games is still Mercedes Racing. Forgot the exact name =p but it featured only Mercs and had really nice tracks and challenges. Remember racing down the professional race tracks and nice scenic places. UG racing can get dull sometimes as the city scape flashes past you all the time =p

Hmm Come to think of it maybe I should dig up my Merc racing again, heh.

Anyhoo, what struck me since the days of UG, was that Pelmont City was creepy. I drive, and drive, and drive ... but I never see the light of day. Nor do I see any pedestrians around. There's nubby cars around like white Toyota Corollas, but no people walking around at all. Such a cold lonely city shrouded in eternal night!

Haiz, graphics card's still acting up. Sigh, dunno what's wrong with it, maybe I should just buy a new one, make it an Nvidia this time. No more @(*&$(@ ATI. Grrr. =\ Don't even feel like RMAing it .. sigh, but maybe I should. Sigh.

Bah, poor thumb <_< Need to recover after all that wild driving =p

Jacket potatoes tomorrow (hopefully!)!

In other news, have to email CTC within this week <_< Time is short.

This week should be exciting ^^

Inc TT! Soon!