It's shocking to myself too, the depth of reaction. For a long moment my thoughts were clouded and I had a headache. Not sure what's going on too, it's probably yet another geyser of repressed stuff reaching its maximum pressure.
Someone remarked a few days ago that I always sound so cheerful. Ha ha, it's kinda funny. The exterior is completely out of sync with the interior. The typed words sound as bright as day, but deep in it's cold and dark.
The sense of loss is here again... Everything I've loved, everything I've lost... Hmmm so many things lost. So many which can't be regained.
Been feeling restless too... Feel like how Eldaris would feel, being trapped in a cage, how he would stretch his wings against the boundaries, chafting at his bounds. The sense of restlessness and entrapment. Feels odd.
It's not too hard to sense the conflicting behaviour if one takes some time and look deep enough.
ReplyDeleteYou said "...Everything I've loved, everything I've lost... Hmmm so many things lost. So many which can't be regained..."
Perhaps it's time to put things into ur own hands and try fighting for things you lost and loved, instead of just standing and watching it go away?
Things and dreams that you are chasing for do not come on its own. You'll have to fight for it and only then will you truly cherish wat you have. Otherwise, anything easily gained will be easily lost.
Instead of letting the surroundings affect you, it's time YOU affect your surroundings and make things go your way